Some know I've been facing something. I don't talk about it. I've had my hospital visits in SC and Cali. I have my opinions and diagnosis from both doctors. Those closet to me know what it is. In SC I was scared to death what the doctor told me. Actually scared was too mild of a word. I just don't have enough clarity to come up with sometime more accurate. When I got home to Cali and got that doctors opinion is was far better. They horrible thing is..it's very painful and makes me super uncomfortable and I have frequent flair ups that sends my right back in the hospital.I had a flair up a few days ago and the pain was pure agony.
However, it got me thinking about life. Its funny how when we face something it puts things in perspective. I'm not letting another opportunity slip by me. So with that said I have been thinking about the people who mean something to me, or have had an impact in my life. Its something so many of us take for granted because we think we'll have time to do it. If I've learned anything this past years its that your life can change in an instant, things go undone, words get left unsaid and you'll never get those opportunities back.
Life just gets away from us sometimes. Our lives get so busy and we get sidetracked and we don't really take time to remember the good we have in our lives or to say what we need to be said. We get weighed down under stress, time constraints and toxic people. There are people who have been so good to me and have had such an impact in my life and most don't even know it. I thought about it and I think its pretty sad. I think this world would be a much better place if people knew the good they do for someone else. I know it sounds sappy, corny or fairytale-ish but its true. I know it means something to me when someone tells me that I have made an impact on someone or that Ive made a difference.
I'm building some new relationships recently and that makes me happy. I'm happy...not just okay happy...or it could be better happy..but really happy. I feel so lucky to have this person in my life or should I say re-enter my life. I knew there was something about them. I just know that they mean a lot to me. They take the time to really get to know me. Our times together differ from talking non-stop to just watching movies or taking pictures. I'd rather sit and do nothing with them then do anything with anyone else.I guess I just like what we have,its not to complicated. We spend time together and have fun. We make each other laugh and isn't that what life is all about....being able to make someone smile and happy..
I am probably going to be opening the biggest can of worms I've opened yet but I don't care.Seriously I don't. I appreciate those that have been by my side from the get go.This past year has been crazy with ups & downs, cutting people out of your life, deaths and babies being born.
But no one knows what the future holds for anyone. There is a forward button, its just not a fast forward button...its a one day at a time button. We all want to know what our future hold and who or who wont be in our future..I for one can say it does scare me at time not knowing but I have my faith and know God has my journey set in His hands.I have great family and friends in my life which I am truly blessed and grateful for. I have this awesome person in my life..I'm not planning a future with them..yes I said that, but I'm not..I'm just enjoying everyday with them and my family and friends not thinking about what could or should be.
Basically the point I'm trying to get across is this is my life and I will do with it what I wish. The choices are mine. I'm just trying to be happy. Its doesn't get any better than this..happiness..maybe that's my own little piece of perfect.But what is perfection anyway!!
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