CHOICES..

I used to be,until recently, the kind of person that would try too hard sometimes to keep a friendship. To do whatever it took to show my affection and appreciation. Basically, you should have already known that if you desired to be in my life.

Then I decided to stop. you cant stop right away 100%, because its a behavior that comes naturally and sometimes you only realize you acted the same way, after the fact. That's how change is, its a continuous and step by step process of waking up.

I would more than likely meet you beyond half way and sometimes all the way at your end. Over and over again. Now I like to play more evenly. Of course due to gratefulness there are a certain few I still bend over backwards for. But if you're a new recruit in my life, don't expect such treatment. And if you're from my past and you've abused your "special" status, be sure, it will be revoked upon new inspections.

Who died and made you think you were above me? I guess it's more like; who woke up and made me realize I was just as great if not better than you? So you want to be all cool? Go knock yourself out with that. You want me to always reach out to you? Ummm, yeah okay!! You want to respond only at your convenience while I sit and wait for you? You want to greet me with a wall while I open my arms to you? You want to think I need you and there's not much I can offer you in return?

Well; you are entitled to be and think that way. And I am entitled to sit here at my end not moving again until you extend your pompous self.

I will gladly meet you half way then. but not an inch further my friend.

side note: this blog is because i have been talking to someone a lot recently about things and some peoples actions. and about how people just walk away from certain things.

So with that said: how could you walk away from your unborn child. An action you choose to make alone. Now she is growing everyday. How could you not want to know how your daughter is growing? How could you not care for your baby girl who's molding? how could you go on with your life and not for a second in the day think of your child that you created as well?How could you say you maybe want rights when you have yet to hold her in your arms or be there for anything? How could you do this to your daughter! She needs a father! How could you be so inconsiderate and leave her never knowing her? How could you deal with not knowing how your daughter is doing? How could you want to miss out on her hello's or a first "i love your daddy"? How could you do this to your unborn child?

At first, I was hurt,sick to my stomach then i was angry. Now..well now I'm just sad. You know..sometimes you have to look at all the angles and go."you know..this is just beyond repair." You look at it and go.."it is not worth fighting for." You chalk it up to lessons learned and just take it all head on because you think you can get through it. You can make the best out of this ugly situation. You can go on with your life and make it what you want it to be..

Anotherwards, YOU HURT SOMEONE THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME AND I LOVE WITH MY LIFE.