Ah, “mean people”. Unfortunately, you can find them everywhere you turn, and it’s useless to run & hide; because sooner or later, one or two of them will catch up with you. So you might as well buck up and learn how to deal with “mean people”. It might be a struggle to do that; but if you finally learn to deal with mean people without losing your cool, then you’re pretty much ready to handle anything!
For a long time now, I have been the one to try to let things go to keep the peace. I would cover for those who I considered friends and loved ones even when I knew what they said to me had hurt me. Well......People change....For me it’s a pretty difficult thing when the people who are mean & say hurtful things are the ones that say they love you and that you’re important to them. It makes you lose trust for them.I haven’t been home; went to Sacramento and Redding for awhile. And let me tell you, I have never been so hurt and betrayed by the people who say that they love me and I’m important to them. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS!!! You can say; “you’re important to me, I care about you” or “I love you”; but let me tell you this! IF YOU SAY THOSE WORDS ARE YOUR ACTIONS SPEAK SOMETHING TOTALLY DIFFERENT….THERE JUST EMPTY USELESS & MEANINGLESS WORDS...THAT’S IT!! Those words that come out of your mouth or through an email or text; MEAN NOTHING!!
Okay back to my blog. Facing “mean people” on a regular basis can definitely take its toll; you have to master the art of rolling with the punches or even the art of ignoring what they say. And even the art of confronting the person & not letting it eat at you. Because 9 times of 10, I bet the so called “mean person” had no idea they offended you by what you said. Then with the people that have betrayed you, you have to confront them as well, because if you never resolve the problem you’ll never get past it.
Confronting someone doesn’t have to involve getting into a shouting match or a fistfight with them to drive your point home. You have to keep in mind when it comes to “mean people” that when someone is being mean to you- or the world at large for that matter- you should realize that the problem lays with them; and not with you.
If the mean person you’re having problems with is a friend of yours, family or someone you care about, then it may be more challenging to handle this situation. What you need to do, first and foremost, is to avoid becoming just like them. Just because they are being mean doesn’t mean you also have to behave the same way. If they are directing the meanness towards you, then it’s time for you to back off and disappear for a while. Just wait for them to realize how horrible they have been treating you. When it happens again, you can confront them about this behavior… and hopefully, this will be a wake-up call. If they don’t realize this… your SOL (sadly out of luck)
If the mean individual’s tactic is to crush everyone’s self-esteem to smithereens, you can calmly face this challenge by having a strong sense of self-esteem. Only by having a strong sense of self and confidence will you be able to keep from cracking under the tormentor’s treatment and will serve you well if you want to train yourself on how to deal with mean people. You can disarm mean people by being overwhelmingly nice to them. As they say, you can kill ‘em with kindness. This will definitely catch mean people off-guard. It will be hard to keep your cool, but it’s worth it to see the mean person become confused by your behavior.
Finally, come up with some witty comebacks. Part of the mean person’s arsenal includes sarcastic barbs and attacks, and just general insults. So if you have a general idea what things they usually say, plan your lines to prepare for the next time they choose to direct the insults at you. If your reply is snappy enough, the mean person might either be stunned into silence or hurl further abuse at you, but you’ll know that you managed to defuse them. Your action might even inspire other people to stand up to the mean person.
Figuring out how to deal with mean people is something that we all have to learn throughout life, but with a little patience, and even some sense of humor, you can successfully rally through the challenge.
And always remember, “ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS”!!!
SMOOCHES XOXOX, Kristy ( ladybug)
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