there's a piece of me who left when you went bc you were sent from heaven!

Today in short has turned into a long day & night. My mind is racing & sleep is the deprived aspect of my life I wish I had. Reality is smashing me in the face. My emotions are starting to hit its high for me. I’ve tired numerous times to not let it bother me. No one can say they understand how I feel with this subject because its still tears at my heart day & night.

I don’t know what to say but I know I really need to be praying to God for His guidance & love. The tornados in my head are causing earthquakes in my heart & the cracks are getting bigger. Occasionally, things pop up in our lives that cause what some consider chaos. Some people don't know how to handle it when these things come up. We are powerless, but still, can be strong and learn to grow when unfortunate situations present themselves.
Lately, I have felt moments of chaos. My emotions have been getting the best of me and I’m trying not to let them. But, tears are okay, and letting go is something I am learning.


Do you ever feel like you let certain situations get so far out of your hands that you leave your true feelings left unspoken? OR maybe… it’s best to just keep moving forward holding onto good memories for what they’re worth & actually mending wounds rather then staring at the scars like they’re a deformity. Scars build character but you have to accept them first.


I try really hard to not let the things people say to me bother me or hurt me.

However; with every fiber of my being I am utterly hurt & bothered by the fact that certain people that I love & care about know certain things. I have nothing to hide from anyone nor do I lie, never have and never will. But it utterly bothers me because 1. It wasn’t who ever told places to share that kind of information. 2. The info was told before all the facts where known. Because if you knew what really happened, the judgments/thoughts you had would have been rude & you would feel bad because of the things you thought/sad. Because I know for myself growing up in church & a Christian home, that that’s not the thing you do. So I can only imagine the things that were said or thought. Because I know what my own family thought & said. 3. You never really knew the person (i.e., me) that well before judgments where/was made. 4. The person it what about (me) should have had the right to share that info when you got to know them better (if that needed to be shared, if ever or when the time was right).

So yes, it might sound completely stupid that I feel this way. But there my feeling! And it should have come from me not anyone else! Can you imagine being in love with someone & having the people they love & you love know things that never came from you? Knowing there morals and values are just like your families. Utter chaos would ensue. It makes things a tad uncomfortable. & hurtful and offends me.


I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house that doesn’t bother me.I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out.I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though going on with you gone still upsets me. There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok but that's not what gets me. It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go but I'm doing it. Still Harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret but I know if I could do it over I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken. What hurts the most is being so close and having so much to say, and never knowing what could have been. And not seeing that loving you is what I was trying to do



If you love someone, truly, it stays with you for the rest of your life. You'll know it when you have it. I never knew what unconditional love really was until being pregnant. That is the most amazing thing a person can do in their life I think. Giving life to another person is the ultimate expression of love, and it is truly unconditional, and it stays with you for all time even if that life you created enters this world and leaves just as quickly. Within the first few moments of being with your child, holding them, gazing into there eyes and hearing them cry... you know exactly what your mother meant all those years when she said... "I love you... I will always love you, no matter what." unconditional love is: Loving someone, no matter what happens, no matter what wrongs them or you do you, you'd still give your life for them.


I am writing to say that it is okay to share your feelings without worrying and wondering what judgments people can make without knowing the whole story. Especially when it’s people you love and care about. This is life - things come and go, live and die. This is how we learn.

p.s... I love you & care about you bunches. you mean the world to me!! smooches. xoxox